Peeps have been asking me what's going on with my script for Q. And I guess I haven't talked about it much because there have been some curious developments.
Originally I waS set to write a romantic comedy as a vehicle for my buddy the Winged Serpent, and we went through about ten drafts. He kept giving me notes, and I had to fight him every step of the way. Here's a parody of our conversations:
Q: Can't you make me romantic in this scene?
Damon: I could, but we don't want to overdo it.
Q: The audience has to fall in love with me, though.
Damon: I know, but you can't force that in scene one, and having you in bed with five hot eighteen year olds isn't gonna make your case.
Q: But it's funny.
Damon: How is it funny?
Q: What if they're dead?
And on and on. We finally got a working draft, and then Q sent it out to a bunch of people. It got to Kirsten Dunst, I guess, and her people got really excited about it. But, of course, they wanted someone else for the lead. And guess who told me I couldn't sell it without him attached?
Regardless of that, Dunst's people are now setting it up without Q to star her and Ashton Kutcher in shitty makeup. As I type Thomas Lennon and Ben Garrant are rewriting it so I won't be able to fight in arbitration. And I was told by their people if I do fight it, then my career will be kaputz. And guess who gets the story by credit? Not me. Q. It's an endless cycle of disappointments, but it feels good writing it down. I did meet Leia (no relation to anyone famous) and I found that we had some chemistry. I could tell she felt sorry for me when they had to escort me out. I gave her my number, though. So I have that going for me.