Crunk for Jesus?

God: What's going down, my (expletive deleted)?
Damon: Not much. I called you back last night and got the machine?
God: Yeah, I went with the boys for some drinks.
Damon: Jesus didn't do his water for wine bit?
God: He can't turn my sprite into a Jack and Coke, if that's what you mean. Jesus got really drunk and started Karaoeking. Is that a word?
Damon: It is now.
God: Yeah, he was doing some Usher. Moses still thinks it's funny to do a Lil' John impression.
Damon: Yeah? Yeah?
God: Yeah.
Damon: Yeah.
God: We could do a stand up routine you and me, we could across the globe. I swear people would laugh.
Damon: So how you doing?
God: Same old, same old. That picture of Cuthbert, it's fake.
Damon: Damnit.
God: Thanks for E-ing it to me though.
Damon: No problem.
God: No I mean seriously, my spam filter is bad enough as is. Why would I want to break rocks with my cock? Why would I want cum guzzling whores who'll do anything? I'm God. If it was me specific spam, maybe, but this just sucks. My ironic appreciation of it... is over.
Damon: Aight, well, you're the expert, so I just wanted some help.
God: No, I know. Next time just link a God, would you?
Damon: Fair enough.
God: I gotta run, Lot just called.
Damon: Later.
God: Peace, and I'm out.